Originally posted February 13, 2016
So I watched the movie “Valentine’s Day” the other night. Just because it seemed appropriate for this time of year, and I love to torture myself like that. It’s funny and cute; and managed to open a flood gate of emotions with regards to this lovers holiday.
Ironically, in our three years of dating, one year of engagement, and almost 12 years of marriage we would have only spent a couple of actual February 14ths together. Whether Colin was playing or coaching, basketball usually got in the way. If I remember correctly, last Valentines Day we spent it with Colin’s basketball team and families during a tournament. I made soups, chilli, bread and biscuits. The boys helped to decorate lots of cupcakes; and when I wasn’t hostessing I was entertaining our three kids in a gymnasium during games. That was “The day of love” for us.
And to be honest, Colin wasn’t the romancing type. Flowers, music and candle light dinners weren’t his natural thing. He was more of a ‘take the boys along on a basketball tournament even though he’s exhausted’ or ‘help the wife renovate another room when he’d rather watch hockey’ or ‘spend an hour rocking Madeline to sleep because Mom wants a break’ or ‘give up his own hobbies to meet the needs of his family’ kind of guy.
And when I think back on the way that Colin loved me and loved his children it is very obvious that buying chocolates and flowers would have been the easier choice. Not that I didn’t receive the traditional tokens of affection that husbands give to wives, it just wasn’t a big part of our relationship.
The sacrifices that he made for us are more apparent now as all the holes surface. His selfless, unconditional, and tireless love was what drove him to make those hard choices. Allowing us, and wanting us to be a part of every facet of his life is so telling of how he felt. And I cannot think of any part of my life that was separate from him.
Colin knew everything about me. Even the darkest, deepest parts of me were safe with him. He was home to me. And when he would walk in the door at the end of the day everything seemed right. That back door would shut, my heart would smile, and all four of us would vie for his attention.
When thinking back to who I was when we first met I am grateful that anyone would choose to commit to spending their life with me. And Colin not only chose that, but honoured that vow valiantly to his dying breath. Leaving the bar impossibly high.
So that is what I will try to celebrate this Valentine’s Day. Our epic love.