Know Christmas

Originally posted December 29, 2015
This Christmas season was so full. Full of great food, special gifts, new memories and especially emotions. It feels like there hasn’t been one human emotion that has not graced my presence this past month. My heart has run the gamut of beautiful to ugly, sometimes in the span of minutes. And all of it has been encompassing and powerful and exhausting.
There has been wonder at the surprise baskets on the doorstep. Humility at the many Christmas cards and gifts from complete strangers. Joy watching others spending time with my boys. Peace sitting in front of the fire after the kids are in bed.
Envy as I watch whole families celebrating together. Aching  when I see a mother snuggle with her baby. Frustration as I lament my lack of freedom as a single parent. Fear when I think ahead to the new year, and the next one after that. Emptiness as I lie in bed alone each night.
Yet, even-though they can be fleeting and risk being overpowered, some emotions stand out from the others.
Love for the people in our lives who keep filling the gap, and the One who prompts them.
And, even hope. Hope for redemption, and the assurance that He knows.

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