She stared fixedly at the return for her life’s labour, scattered in pieces on the ground, blinking back invisible tears as she had nothing left to cry. She tried to count how many times she had faced setbacks and restarted her assignment, but she had lost count long ago. She was filled with overwhelm as she tried to figure out where to begin this time; and she prayed to be exempt from the task. Yet even as she begged for release she knew the answer. Being able to walk away from this calling would be the equivalent of trying to live without her heart.
She took a moment to breathe deep and calm her racing heartbeat.
She acknowledged the pain and faced her fear.
And every time the gravity of the job ahead threatens to paralyze her she reminds herself of His love for her. And as she places the fragile pieces back together she thanks Him for access to His strength. When the realities of her inadequacy and failures surface she embraces His forgiveness. And when the enemy whispers stories of rejection and worthlessness in her ears she fights back with His promises for the future and her value in Him.
Many times it has seemed like the tide would win, washing everything away and sweeping her out to sea. Like a house of cards precariously balanced in anticipation of a hurricane. In those moments the darkness of the storm is not lost on her. As it threatens to engulf her and all the parts she has nurtured she frantically reaches to find a hand hold. Searching blindly in the storm for hope.
And no matter how black or violent the environment around her gets, it is always there. His hope is constantly within her grasp.
A faithful companion.
A resilient gift.
To her from Him.